#and now everyone hates me and wants to hurt me and knows that I'm a fraud and I'll never be anything else all because I didn't do it right

[unknown-cold]

It's fanny how some people call her evil era.

We never saw her kill an innocent person, even when my friend saw the show he is not a fan of Arcane but he saw a lot of comments about it and I also urged him to watch it after all the excitement around it when I asked him about his opinion on the show and especially the character of Caitlyn he told me, he expected after all the posts and comments about her that she would go to Zaun and kill people with her gun he didn't expect that she just wears a costume that looks like a vampire and looks tough and mean, she would get this much hate. He even asked me why people don't talk or blame Ambessa isn't she the main reason behind most of the problems in this season and also Singed or even Silco and his allies?

I couldn't answer him except that people have double standards and are hypocrites because their criticism of Caitlyn's character is not because she did one bad thing but because she is from Piltover and an enforcer. I'm sure if Caitlyn was from Zaun and did worse things they would sympathize with her and love her, so their criticism is so hypocritical and has double standards. In short, their criticism of a character is not because she did bad things, but because of who she is and where she is from.

They forget that silco kills a lot of people, mainly people from the undercity, even kids, LOL have put a mini game on the clien and there you could find out that Silco use kids as lab rat to test the chem tanks.

And I'm sure now someone will come and tell me that Caitlyn used the gas on all of Zaun and killed people with it. Seriously idiot where did you get this? Can you show me a picture from the show that people died because of gray, and if it's true then the characters must are talking about it, that Caitlyn uses gray to kill innocent people. So this claim is not true, we saw at the beginning of episode 3 how Caitlyn used the gas strategically and not randomly and Amanda confirmed that. So she used it to catch gangs there. Because logically, 5 people wouldn't go to catch hundreds of gang members that easily, and also if one of the people got hurt Ekko would have talked about it and we know that Ekko is the most loyal person to his people, so even Ekko himself didn't complain about using gray, yes he and Scar were talking about the gangs that were working with Silco, and they didn't care about gray, why? Because this gas didn't hurt them.

Even if it hurt them and that using it was an evil act, why didn't you say this when Jinx used it on Piltover and injured innocent people, women and children, she didn't target enforcers for example, Jinx use the Grey randomly unlike Caitlyn, but is anyone talking about this? Of course not. And worse when I saw comments saying that Jinx should blow up Piltover again and eliminate the people of Piltover. Like some people have shown their true colors, that they don't care if a character did something bad or good, all they care about is who this character is.

Why maybe because Jinx is from Zaun and they have every right to do bad things, but Piltover doesn't even if they do good things they are still bad, what a shallow and ridiculous thinking. some Arcane fandom are probably the most stupid fandom nowadays, to them everyone from Zaun is a perfect angel who never do nothing wrong, everyone from Piltover is a monster with no feelings

The show is not black and white, that only exists in Disney movies, go and watch it if you are this kind of boring and traditional storytelling, Arcane proves every day that this show is not for everyone and if you want to enjoy it you have to open your mind well and be open-minded, and most importantly put politics and real life issues aside, and enjoy this fantasy world with flawed characters and good writing. (This show is not designed to solve political issues at the end of the day. It is a show based on a video game)

Morally, I do not agree with a Caitlyn's Evil Cop Era. The lesbian in me, however, really likes that dumbass coat.

Like. Really likes it.

[noxitsnox]

if we get too closе, would it be okay?

hyun-ju x gn!reader - highschool au

summery: hyun-ju came out to her- now ex- girlfriend who spread the rumor around the whole school.

tags: trans/homophobia (the word tr**ny is used one (1) time), bullying, hurt/comfort, lots of fluff i promise, let me know if i missed anything!

a/n: i am obsessed it's not fair. this is pre-t but i'm still going to use she/her pronouns for hyun-ju <3 also english is not my first language and this isn't proof read, so i apologize for any mistake. @exactlyinfp

hyun-ju didn't want to go to school that day. her girlfriend, ex girlfriend now, broke up with her just because she trusted her, because she didn't want to hide anymore and she believed that her girlfriend of almost two years would understand. but she didn't. she called her all kind of names and blocked her everywhere.

she hoped this was where it ended. that they could just ignore each other and keep living life as it is. it would have been so much easier that way. but the moment she entered the school hallway she knew something happened. the looks she was getting were strange, full of hate. definitely not the looks you receive when you just broke up. she tried to ignore it and walked to her class with her head down.

it was early. a lot of time passed before some of her classmates entered the room. maybe it was better if they stayed outside. their chatter died down as soon as they saw her. one of them, who was seated next to her, took his desk and dragged it as far away from her as possible. “you're sick”, he said under his breath. “stay away from me.”

she stayed silent as the realization hit her. if he knew, everyone else did too. fighting tears, she forced herself to keep cool.

slowly people filled the room. everyone ignored her, even her so called friends looked at her with disgust. only y/n seemed to be acting as if nothing happened. maybe they didn't know about it yet. they’ll turn their back to you like everyone else, she thought.

“oh hyun-ju, how are you?”

y/n waited for an answer that never arrived. so, with a sad smile, they spoke again. “it's fine. you don't have to talk with me. you have my number in case you change your mind.”

———

for the rest of the week she ignored everyone. she was barely alive.

every morning she entered school feeling like a criminal. her locker in the changing rooms was filled with insults. some guys even tried to push her on the ground. that was the only moment she reacted. she could ignore words, but physical aggression was were she drew the line.

every night she cried herself to sleep, wishing she had someone on her side, someone to talk to. her family didn't know about what was happening in school and she hoped for it to stay that way or she wouldn't even have a home anymore.

it was on saturday afternoon that she lost it. she was out, getting some groceries for her mother at the local market, and she saw her ex with her friends. she tried to hide before they could notice her, but she wasn't fast enough.

"oh god, isn't that that tranny you used to date?", one said pointing at her.

"don't say that out loud, please. what will people think of me?"

hyun-ju ran away without even taking food from the market stall. she kept running until their voice became indistinguishable echoes.

she sat on the side walk and took out her phone, looking for y/n contact. she started crying, the tears blurring her vision.

their words came back to her. you have my number in case you change your mind. were they serious? she hesitantly called them, hoping for the best.

y/n didn't take long to answer and for that she was grateful.

"hey, you called!"

"i- yes... listen can you, can you come here?"

"oh hyun-ju, you're crying? is everything okay?"

"i don't even know anymore. please, just come here." and with that she hung up the phone, quickly shared the position with them.

she hugged her knees as she waited.

———

y/n was happy that hyun-ju called, even if the situation wasn't ideal. even though they weren't intimate, they cared about her and it made them sad to see her suffer. especially if she was being ridiculed for something beyond her control.

y/n tried to get to her as fast as possible. they went out in their sweats without bothering to put on something nicer. they didn't like the idea of hyun-ju seeing them in that state, but they also realized that they had to put vanity aside at the moment.

as soon as she saw y/n she got up and hugged. they remained in that position for a while. hyun-ju cried and cried while y/n rubbed her back, doing what they could to comfort her.

"sorry... i don't know why i did that", she said as she let go of them.

"you don't have to apologize. do you feel better now?"

"i do, thanks."

an awkward silence fell until y/n suggested they start walking with a wave of their hand, "do you wanna talk about what's happening?"

"i just want to forget about it. can we talk about something else?"

"oh sure", y/n looked at her and smiled. "do you wanna hear about this manga i'm reading?"

a/n: i realize that for an xreader the reader is barely there 😬 sorry. let me now if you liked it!!

[summertimesadnessirl]

Everyone hates hypersexuality because they think it's like...

We get to tell you to stop fucking.

Also our entire culture really wants to tell people to stop fucking.

I'm pretty sure that's literally the purpose of a lot of sexual abuse- to make people stop fucking.

People who fuck just to fuck are going to get labeled as hypersexual even if they aren't.

People who are hypersexual are going to get blamed for the actions of other people who have weird pathology around the idea of sex, or certain types of sex.

Weirdly, someone can have sex with you and then later turn around and go "now I blame you for making me bad" when they consented to or even asked for and initiated the sex and enthusiastically consented over and over at various points in the process.

People who like sex just to have sex, even if they initially became that way because they were sexually abused, might not actually be doing something that hurts them. They might be doing something that works effectively to help reduce other symptoms, make new friends, etc. They might be doing things that genuinely make them feel better. You can even get slapped with an "inappropriate hypersexual" label for masturbating a lot. Like... to fantasies or porn of other adults. Like vanilla porn. Because it can't just be a harmless quirk that sometimes you get anxious or upset and you get off and then you feel better if you have a history of sexual trauma because people in the community want to hear that whenever someone like you consents to sex it's secretly that they were groomed or they have low self esteem and really just want validation or something.

People have tried to tell me over and over that I just want validation and not sex.

I guess I do sometimes have sex with people because I like knowing I can do something for someone else if I feel powerless to fix problems in my own life, or when I'm in a lot of negative social situations and I want to be be in one where the outcome is positive at the end for both people. I still enjoy the sex, though. It's not something I do and don't enjoy on a physical level.

I think secretly that's the problem.

I think the goal of a lot of things in our society is to slowly make people hate sex. Make them think something is wrong with them if they enjoy it, even if they seek it out or consented to it it was actually rape, etc.

It's some weird fusion of anti lgbt and anti woman and patriarchy and the church and the psychiatric system where we tell people doing a fun activity with your friends that everyone enjoyed and made them feel good is actually making them empty and worse and a sign that they have low self worth.

If you can't accept that sometimes having sex with someone because you both want to feel good is enough reason to have sex with them, you're just perpetuating the weird nasty shame shit that people did to you when they emotionally abused you.

If your advocacy for truama/abuse survivors isn't inclusive of

Survivors who are not women

Survivors who developed hypersexuality

Survivors with personality disorders

Survivors with anger issues

Survivors with did/osdd

Survivors with substance abuse issues

Then maybe you should start making an effort to make it. I'm not asking anyone to shift focus to a topic they don't understand, but you dont have to become an expert in hypersexuality or personality disorders to not actively exclude or demonize them

[unproduciblesmackdown]

omgg lol [guy who won't stop going "more like scapeGOATED" voice] now hold! on!! lmao [same guy just saw encanto voice] Hold on!!!

[aropride]

if you imagine that guy from saw and he's sawing his own leg off in the bathroom but it's just like, a normal bathroom and he's not chained to the wall or anything and he really didn't have to saw off his leg at all but he imagined a situation in which he would have to do that so he decided to get it over with as soon as possible. well that's how i approach all my interpersonal relationships

[lemonduckisnowawake]

You know something? Whenever a genuinely good piece of media takes a polytheistic or non-Christian religion as an allegory criticizing Christianity or just religion/the worship of god(s) in general, I feel such a strong urge to both nod in fascination because I see their point of recontextualizing and deconstruction but also to roll my eyes so hard because most of the time they're just going "religion bad. Here's nuance - actually never mind. Religion bad, period."

Like I'm far, far from a pantheist or polytheist but do people understand that those gods were simply forces of personified nature? Their whole thing was that they mimicked humanity and human relationships but, in the end, were basically nature. And the, well, nature of nature is that it's unfair, takes you unawares, sometimes can be benevolent, but is always unpredictable. It can be too cruel for a small mistake or you can be lucky and escape punishment in general. Myths and legends were all about their inhumanity, not their imperfect and wretched humanity (because they were gods, duh).

Like man, whenever I see a piece of media raging about religion like. I get it. But not only does it basically erase and invalidate the experiences of half or more than half of the world who are literally suffering from their religion, I can't help but notice some kind of weird trend. Like...do people now happily cast the gods as Evil and needing to be put down or eradicated because of how industrialization was basically man conquering nature? They demand those higher powers see things from their perspective and from an individually personal point of view (all the while ignoring that Christianity literally did that), blame gods for suffering and thus decry them but ignore the fact that even without gods, the same suffering would probably still happen. Always about "gods should be more human" but only in the good ways because people have already humanized the gods too much, just as vile ones, rather than the personification of nature they were meant to be.

[insipid-drivel]

What Happened

I'm in a very bad place psychologically and emotionally, and I can't just be vague or not talk about it anywhere to anyone anymore:

One of the people I thought was on the route toward becoming like an older sibling to me invited me to a discord group.

Everything seemed wonderful for the first couple of weeks. I hadn't made any friends or been in touch with more than one or two people in over 6 years, I'm mentally ill, queer, trans, and have a lot of social strikes against me as a result, so I was thankful to be in a small server of other queer and neurodivergent people.

We shared ideas of stress-managing and fun things to do, from cup stacking to cat's cradling. There were memes. I could talk about myself and feel safe.

My older sister was extremely cruel and abusive toward me from the time I was a baby, as well as my biological father. She resented me for taking our mother's attention away from her and never got over it. She often punished me in secret for infractions like spending too long with our mom's attention, or being too liked by her school friends and taking attention away from her.

As a result, I developed a pretty intense phobia of being the center of attention. I always feel like someone is going to come out of a crowd or the shadows and try to hurt me if I talk about myself too long, or attract positive attention from more than one person that everyone else isn't already ignoring.

I started to relax. The people I was getting to know were really, really nice to me. They were interested in what I had to say, and didn't punish me for talking too much. My ideas were received with welcome. My jokes got laughs. I started to feel like a person for the first time in my life.

Then, one day, while sharing information I'd been reading about Swedish royal history in the 1300s, which had not been validated yet and I was simply sharing due to a tenuous genetic link I happen to have and that my mom has spent a lot of her adult life researching.

I was paraphrasing in general chat to my new friends. I wasn't checking citations or anything, and the stories we were finding were still not validated, but they were interesting and added more intrigue to my family's old backstory.

Out of nowhere, a member of this server who had never introduced himself to me or spoken to me personally began attacking me. He demanded to know sources. He demanded to know how I could validate what I was being heard read to me, as if he were interrogating me for suspicion of heresy or something.

I cried. I backpedaled and apologized to him profusely while ceding the subject to him. I promised I'd never talk about it again and that I was so, so sorry for making him mad (my sister was right. my sister was right. i'm bad. i can't be safe anywhere. i'm a monster. she was right. oh god she was right. i'm a fucking monster). I showed my belly and pathetically begged him to take his Champion Argument Starter trophy and leave me alone.

He gave me a weak "Sorry," for being so cruel to me, but the damage was done.

I sat in silence in the server for weeks. Nothing was done. 2 of the 3 posted server rules were to Be Polite and Don't Be An Asshole. I hoped I would hear from a moderator that he'd been spoken to.

I wound up leaving, alone. The friends that I did like stayed behind, and aren't my friends anymore, because they chose to stay in a server with the guy that attacked me, triggered me, and sent me spiraling and sobbing and fighting blind fury at the same time.

I don't feel safe with them anymore.

A couple of members have come forward with gentle words, but I haven't had the stomach for any of them. I don't want to be attacked again. I don't want to be stupid enough to be lured into something like that again. I'm so, so painfully lonely and desperate for friends, but not that.

Please not that.

Where were you? Why didn't you help me? Why did you let that happen to me? Why didn't you stop it?

I thought we were friends.

Someone please be kind to me and mean it.

Please?

[yamikawaii]

theres just something about being inherently unworthy of love

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[elytrafemme]

i feel like such an asshole for being so frigid and neglectful of one of my back-home friends but i am still not past the part where every time i mention that i have friends in college she starts crying or just the general like. cyclic conversations and over-earnesty. which isn't a bad trait like, being nice isn't a bad trait, but she's nice in a really weird guilting way where like. if i was ever upset she would do nice things so i would have to respond emphatically after even if i asked her to leave me alone. or if i send her one text she sends me three saying that she misses me. i really don't know what to do because i think she will be literally fucking impossible to reduce my friendship with, because i don't want to lose her but i really hate that i am still her Best Friend Ever and i'm not allowed to have new friends.

[furrysmp]

congrats to everyone that is still following me after I saw I had way too many followers to not have at least one antisemitic person following me, the fact that you don't think I murder children for fun is truly a comfort

[deadtower]

i’m just so tired. and hurt. and upset. and it wasn’t even my fault this time

[m0e-ru]

losing the idgaf war

[noxtivagus]

i've been less shy lately so damn i realized how. idk how to say it. wait

[featherymainffins]

People be wilding, I hate when I ask for some dirty tricks to swindle my brain because therapeutic methods are slow and I would kinda like to do things even before they work, and people just recommend me what is essentially CBT coupled with exposure therapy.

[nonborderlinary]

.